


Repose

by luminousgrace



Series: S13 Episode Codas [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, M/M, Post-Episode: s13e19 Funeralia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 04:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14394105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminousgrace/pseuds/luminousgrace
Summary: Episode coda for 13x19, Funeralia. Cas deals with his trauma, Dean helps.





	Repose

By the time they get back to bunker it’s already well past midnight. Sam immediately waves him off, heading exhaustedly down the hallway towards his room. Dean watches him go for a moment before padding quietly towards Castiel’s room. Dean pauses outside of the door, listening. They’d talked briefly on the phone earlier to debrief (and to calm Dean’s burgeoning panic) but that had been over three hours ago and Dean’s not sure if the angel would still be awake. They share a room now more often then not, but Castiel’s a combative sleeper, grabbing handfuls of hours where he can get them, so sometime’s he’ll sneak off into his own room rather than keep Dean awake.

However, when Dean glances down he can see the soft light of a laptop filtering underneath the door. He sighs. The exchange with the angel’s must’ve gone worse than he thought.

Dean knocks lightly. “Cas?”

There’s a quiet, “come in”, and Dean steps softly into the room, shutting the door behind him. He turns to see Castiel perched on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Dean can see the angel’s discarded laptop next to him, the emanating glow throwing eerie shadows onto the angel’s face as Castiel glances up towards him.

“Hey, Cas”

Cas doesn’t smile, but Dean does see some of the stiffness drain out of his posture. 

“Hello, Dean.” 

Dean steps further into the room, shucking his clothes one by one until he’s just in his t-shirt and boxers. Cas watches his quietly, distantly, and Dean frowns at how bleak the look on his face is.

“You okay, man?” 

The angel shrugs. “I attempted to sleep after the end of our call, but I was having difficulties, so I…” He breaks off, gesturing weakly at the discarded laptop and Dean gets the message. He doesn’t press, instead stepping closer to the angel, tugs lightly at his trenchcoat. 

“Can I take these off?” Another weak shrug, but Cas doesn’t resist when Dean slides the coat off his shoulders and folds it over the back of the nearby chair. Dean works quietly after that. He taps lightly on Castiel’s arm, waiting for the latter to raise it slightly before slipping the suit jacket off, followed by the button-up underneath. 

Dean watches as some of the tension seems to drain out of Castiel with each article of clothing. When Dean finally gets Castiel’s slacks free, the angel slumps down with a sigh as if a giant weight had been lifted. Dean has his back to Castiel, folding the pants over the chair with the rest of the clothes, so he jumps when he feels a hand fist in the fact of his shirt.

Castiel tugs lightly until the hunter shuffles closer. The moment Dean is within reach, Cas buries his face in his stomach, wrapping his arms around the hunter’s waist with a surprising strength. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean murmurs. He smoothes his hands along Castiel’s shoulders, feeling them tremble as the angel exhales shakily. Dean shifts to press his palms down on the angel’s upper back, trying to add that pressure that Castiel has said helps to make him feel more grounded, less scattered. The angel lets out a grunt so Dean presses again, slower, until he feels some of the tenseness slide away.

“Talk to me man.” Dean finally says, softly. He slides one hand up to card his fingers through the angel’s hair, messing it up and then smoothing it back down again. “You mentioned a little on the phone, but I can’t help if I don’t know the whole deal.”

Dean waits patiently as the seconds tick by. He feels Cas shift slightly against him as if trying to gather enough of his scattered thoughts to focus on responding. When he finally speaks, Castiel’s voice is quiet, wrecked, and Dean feels something tight squeeze in his chest.

“I don’t understand how I failed to notice what was happening.” The angel’s voice is thin, shaky. “I knew there were only a few of us left but I never thought that the situation was this dire.” He makes a noise of distress. “And to hear it from  _her,_ from  _Naomi_ -” Cas chokes on the name even as Dean stiffens against him. “She wouldn’t even _apologize_.”

From anyone else, it would sound trite, unnecessary, but Dean knows the score. Knows from the early morning hours when Cas wakes up sobbing and thrashing and clinging to Dean like his life depends on it, from the haunted look in his eye as he helps Dean up off the floor after a hunt, and from the way that he sometimes catches Cas staring at him before he wakes up looking stricken.

Castiel digs his forehead into Dean’s stomach, his agitation growing with each word. “She acted like it was nothing, like it didn’t  _matter._ She made me k-”, he shudders, “ _kill_  you so many times, and she didn’t even. It was nothing to her, just another means to an end in Heaven’s grand plan.” Castiel’s voice has risen exponentially, edging on hysterical. “ _It’s given me nothing but anguish,_  w _hy should I even care if Heaven ceases to exist?”_

Dean grits his teeth, furious at the universe. He has to take several steadying breaths, and then takes a few more, trying to calm himself enough so that he doesn’t say anything angry, nothing to to make this about him. 

Finally, Dean sighs. “I know that there’s nothing I can say to make this any less shitty for you,” he cups his hand protectively around the back of Castiel’s neck. “It’s not fair that they’ve put you in this position, after all that you’ve done for them, for the world. I think it’s more than fair that you’re angry.” 

He feels Castiel shudder. Dean swallows hard, pushes on. “But I also know that you care too much about people who don’t deserve it. Present company included.” Dean slides his hands down, dragging them slowly up and down Castiel’s back. “That’s all kinds of fucked up that you had to deal with that, especially alone, and I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like. But it’s  _not your fault._  You’re a good person, and you deserve better than a family who won’t even tell you they’re sorry.” 

Cas makes a broken noise, going limp against him, and for a second Dean worries that he’s said the wrong thing. But then Dean can feel wetness beginning to form where Cas has his face pressed against him and Dean sighs, continuing to drag his hands in slow, soothing circles. 

“I’m sorry, Cas.” He says it again, softer this time, and gets another shudder followed by a quiet hiccup. For a moment, Dean has to blink back sad, furious tears of his own. 

For now, Dean can’t do anything else but stand steadily as Cas clings to him, shaking, trying to process five years of trauma and anguish that had reappeared in the last place any of them had been expecting. 

Eventually, Cas’s shudders subside. Dean hears the angel give a wet sniffle, followed by one final, shaky exhale as his breathing evens out. 

“No offense to your master plan Cas,” Dean says, as gently as possible, “but that bitch had better hope I don’t see her again because if I do there’s gonna be one less battery keeping the lights on.”

He’s rewarded with Cas slackening his grip. “I feel like I ought to protest,” the angel says weakly, “considering that would only worsen then entire situation. But I can’t quite bring myself to care.”

Dean sighs, finally able to wiggle out of Castiel’s death grip enough to squat down so they’re face to face. 

“How are you doing?”

Castiel takes a deep breath, bringing his hands up to scrub at his face. “I am better, I suppose.” He leans forward to knock his forehead into Dean’s, resting it there. “Thank you Dean.”

Dean smiles, closing his eyes briefly. “I didn’t tell you anything that wasn’t already 100% true. But I’m glad it helped.” He moves to stand. “Ready for bed?”

Castiel frowns, as if he’d only just registered his exhaustion. “I believe so. As I said, I couldn’t seem to fall asleep until you got back.”

“Aw, you were worried about me.” Dean tries to dodge the concern with teasing but, judging by the way Cas reaches up, tugging Dean down and kissing him fiercely, the angel isn’t having any of that. 

Dean makes a noise of surprise before getting with the program, opening his mouth hungrily. It’s not until several seconds have passed that Dean feels the cool tingling of Grace at it spreads through him and he shivers, pressing closer. Eventually, Castiel pulls away and Dean makes a disappointed noise, chasing after him. Cas dodges his attempt, pulling back and shooting a pointed look first at Dean’s now healed face, and then down to his blood-soaked shirt, where Dean can still feel a few bruises. 

“Yes,” Castiel admonishes lightly. “For good reason too it seems.”

“Hmph, sneaky.” Dean darts back down to capture Castiel’s mouth before the latter can respond, feeling the angel huff a tired laugh against his lips. Castiel’s hand sneaks under the hem of Dean’s shirt, skimming across his stomach, his back, causing Dean to shiver first at the second cold blast of Grace, and then again for an entirely different reason. 

Eventually, it’s Dean’s turn to break away, a wide yawn splitting his face as the final dregs of adrenaline finally wear off. 

Castiel smiles softly, and Dean feels his heart jump a little because… Damn. He bites his lip, dropping his head down to rest on the angel’s shoulder. There’s so much he wants to say, but they’ll have time for that later. He finally settles on a soft, “I’m glad didn't get dead, Cas.” 

He feels the angel smiles against the top of his head. “Likewise. Let’s go to bed.”

* * *

The slide into bed, Dean with his back against the headboard and Castiel slotted comfortably between his legs, his back to Dean’s chest. 

Dean yawns, snaking his arms around Castiel’s waist and watching as he repositions the laptop so that they can both see it. Sleepily, Dean drops a kiss to the back of the angel’s neck. “So, what are we watching?”

Cas sighs, settling back against Dean’s chest as he clicks play on some nature documentary that Dean’s 90% sure they’ve watched before. “Well,” Castiel begins softly, “it’s actually a fairly fascinating discovery about this research team who-” Dean feels himself relaxing, lulled by Castiel’s soft narration and the weight of the angel grounding him. He almost feels bad about falling asleep when he feels Castiel bring his hands down to rest on Dean’s arms where they’re circled around him. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be able to sleep now that you’re here. Don’t wait for me. ” 

Dean feels another soothing trickle of Grace curl through him, and his eyelids droop. He feels himself fully relax for the first time all evening, Castiel safe and sound and right where he belongs.

“Rest, Dean.”

For now, he can. 

**Author's Note:**

> Take that, writers block!


End file.
